The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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