I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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