I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
