god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
