So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
