I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
