ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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