you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
