I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
