So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
