Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
