his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
