I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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