Me too!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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