Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
