tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
