the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
