It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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