Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
