its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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