If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
