no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just googled if crying burns calories
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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