I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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