OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
