just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
FUCK WHALES
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