Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
