U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
