I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
