I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
