I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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