Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
