he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
