Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
