3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
