Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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