The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
