White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
