I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
