Need sex. Gaining weight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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