Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
