Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
