well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
