I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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