I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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