I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
