Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
