so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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