it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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