My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize