First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
