she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
