She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
