he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
